I Try to Be My Best

huffelpoof:

colourfulpantsandarainbowhat:

WHY DO PEOPLE CALL IT FUCK, MARRY, KILL WHEN THEY COULD CALL IT BED, WED, BEHEAD

Or, as King Henry VIII likes to call it, a productive evening. 

[Improv] makes you work with people better, just in general. And I don’t mean like work like at a job—just interact with people better. I keep going back to the same word “listening,” but it really is just that.
Matt Besser (via ucbcomedy)

demons-put-onions-in-my-room:

itsnyaaabetch:

My girlfriend (who is asleep) just rolled over, wrapped her arms around me and very lovingly whispered “I want to murder you”

The important thing is she hasn’t yet and that means she loves you.

How many Avengers fans are there on tumblr?

phangirllnd:

brucebannerask:

in-the-end-you-will-always-kneel:

image

ASSEMBLE!

AVENGERS, I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

merryprankster:

…and so it begins

merryprankster:

…and so it begins

acklesalecki:

slothlifechoseme:

runyouclevertimelord:

spankmeniall:

lizziefaguire:

YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY IRKS ME ABOUT AUSTRALIANS

THEY CALL MCDONALDS “MACCAS” 

WHY

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you drongos dont understand ok. we go to the servo for fuel, we go to maccas for burgers and we go to the bottle-o for grog.

Wait, what the hell is grog?

i feel like somebody insulted me in a foreign language and then continued to insult me even though i don’t understand

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

fullmetalfisting:

Some women want to be house wives and some women want to be Harvard professors and some women want to be porn stars and some women want to be nuns and some women want to be surgeons and there is nothing wrong with anyone’s profession I am sick of people being rude to women about their professions oh my god

cuteness-daily:

Samoyed Dog Appreciation Post!

nickcarragay:

senior superlative voting sheets were due today so the editor of our yearbook is live-tweeting counting all of the votes and

furthest-thing-from-perfection:

naughtyhowell:

actual 10 year old

Why would you not be happy about a surprise puppy though. I’ll take him

crokel:

real women have curves. real women have one single, continuous, infinite curve. real women are a hollow sphere of mass 1kg, suspended in a void. calculate real women’s acceleration if real women is struck by an object accelerating east at 5m/s/s.

unicorn-ice:

blossom you peice of shit